


Spit It Out

by PeppyBismilk



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cute, Dentists, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Perfect Teeth, Romance, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, dental hygienist
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-11
Packaged: 2020-01-11 20:43:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18431729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyBismilk/pseuds/PeppyBismilk
Summary: As a dental hygienist for Katsuki and Nikiforov, Doctors of Dental Surgery, Phichit thought he had seen everything. But he'd never had a patient stare at him in complete silence for theentirecleaning. It didn't help that this particular patient just happened to be his type.





	Spit It Out

“New patient this morning.”

Phichit hadn’t even taken his jacket off before Chris thrust a file into his hands. With a scowl on his face and a venti coffee in his hand, Chris looked unusually put out. 

“Well, good morning to you, too.” Phichit glanced at the file.  _ Seung-gil Lee.  _ Male, birthday just a couple months after Phichit’s. Same year and everything. No known allergies. “Bad date?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Chris groaned. Phichit knew better than to believe him. “Masumi was finally going to spend the night at  _ my _ place, but he hadn’t been inside for two minutes before he was sneezing uncontrollably. He’s _allergic to cats_ , Phichit. I knew things were going just a little too perfectly.” He heaved a sigh and Phichit sent him a sympathetic half-smile. 

“There’s always Benadryl,” Phichit said, putting Seung-gil’s file down so he could hang his coat up. 

Chris perked up and he made bedroom eyes at Phichit. “Do you want his number? I doubt he’s allergic to hamsters. That way, I can keep him in my sphere in case his immune system gets its act together.”

“Thanks, but I’ll pass,” laughed Phichit. “Masumi isn’t really my type.” He didn’t want to be a stand-in for Chris, either.

“Suit yourself.” Chris shrugged. “But you’re running out of time to find a plus one for the bosses’ wedding.”

“I could say the same for you. I thought Masumi was your plus one?”

“Oh, we’re still going to the wedding,” said Chris, examining his nails. “I’m just making contingency plans.”

Phichit’s eyes went wide. “Does Masumi know you’re planning on dumping him?”

“Who said anything about dumping him?” Before Phichit could quote him, Chris added, “I’m just making sure that he’ll be in good hands should the worst come to pass.”

“How kind of you,” said Phichit. “And thanks, I think.”

Just then, the door burst open and their bosses entered arm in arm, putting any lingering concerns about Chris’s relationship on hold.

“Another beautiful morning,” Viktor announced. “And only sixteen more days until the happiest day of my life since Yuuri’s first day of dental school!”

“Yes, yes, we’re all familiar with the tale of the mixer and the champagne and the dancing…” Chris said. He must have been really upset about Masumi if he couldn’t even fake excitement for Viktor and Yuuri. 

“Humor him, won’t you, Chris?” Yuuri hung his coat next to Phichit’s before turning back to stroke Viktor’s cheek. “We’re both just excited for the wedding.” 

Viktor leaned into the touch, adding, “Please, Chris? As my best man, you have to listen to my romantic ramblings, no matter how insufferable.”

Chris clicked his tongue, but there was no malice behind it. “I suppose I can humor the final wishes of a single man.”

“Chris!” Viktor put a hand to his chest, scandalized. “I haven’t been single in four and a half years.”

The bell on the door chimed and Chris turned back to the reception desk. “Fine. You can regale me after your eight o’clock filling. And keep the drill out, because hearing that story again is definitely going to give me a cavity.”

Viktor pouted but headed back to his office. Mere moments after Chris checked Lilia Baranovskaya in, a shout rang out from one of the treatment rooms.

“Fine! I’ll go get your patient but you can get your own damn coffee, Viktor!” 

Yuri Plisetsky came storming up the hall, eyes narrowed and lip curled. Phichit knew better to engage but Yuuri was too pure for this world. 

“Good morning, Yu—” 

“Can it, Katsudon, I don’t have time for your shit,” Yuri snapped without even looking up. He opened the door to the waiting room and it was like a switch had flipped. Chris cracked the reception window open so they could watch Yuri grovel at Lilia’s feet. “Good morning, Ms. Baranovskaya. How are you today?”

“It’s 8:01.” Lilia held up her wrist to show Yuri her watch. “I don’t have all day.”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Yuri. “We’ll get you in and out as quickly as we can.”

Lilia’s frown deepened. “Wonderful. I can’t wait for Dr. Nikiforov to botch this filling because he’s in a hurry to squeeze in more patients.”

“Dr. Nikiforov always takes his time.” Yuri forced the words through gritted teeth. “But I’ll be sure to raise your concerns with him.”

“See that you do,” she said, leading Yuri back to the treatment room even though he was the hygienist. Yuri glared daggers at Chris and Phichit as he passed and Chris made a show out of kissing his hand and pretending to rub it on his ass. Yuri flipped them the bird before he ducked in after her, Phichit snickering all the while.

“I am so glad she’s Viktor’s patient and not mine,” Yuuri whispered to Phichit. “Who’s my 8:10?”

“New patient,” Phichit said, passing Yuuri the file. “Just a cleaning.”

Yuuri glanced at it and nodded. “Thanks, Phichit. See you in a few.” 

He headed back to his office and Phichit turned back to Chris. He could occupy himself with refilling the toothpaste samples, but Yuuri’s first patient would be here any minute, so he just leaned against the reception desk.

“So,” Chris propped his chin on his hand, “what is your type? Masumi has a lot of friends.”

Phichit wasn’t really sure how to describe it until the bell rang and Chris slid the reception window open. 

There he was—Phichit’s type. 

“I have an 8:10 appointment with Dr. Katsuki.” 

_Oh, shit,_ Phichit thought. _He has a nice voice, too._

“Seung-gil Lee?” Chris asked. Seung-gil nodded, and Phichit watched, obscured by the frosted glass, as Chris took his insurance information. 

Seung-gil had a magnificent pair of eyebrows, knitted over pretty, dark eyes, narrowed in thought—he was actually reading the consent forms. His hair was thick and black, shiny even under the harsh fluorescent lights. He wasn’t very fashionable, but there was something almost charming about it. Was that a dog on his T-shirt? Phichit squinted and leaned forward, trying to stay out of sight. Why was the dog wearing a hat? 

“Perfect. Have a seat and Phichit will be right with you.” Chris shut the window and turned back to Phichit, who stood at attention, trying to look casual. Chris wasn’t fooled for a second. A huge grin spread across his face and he said, “You  _ like _ him.”

“Not so loud!” Phichit hissed. “He’s a patient!”

“And  _ you’re _ not a doctor. Besides, Viktor and Yuuri drill each other in more ways than one and no one’s come to revoke their licenses.”

“Chris!” Phichit laughed, but it didn’t ease his mind. “That’s totally different.” 

For a second, he wished he could trade patients with Yuri. But Lilia was impossible to please, and as far as he could tell, Seung-gil was just attractive. Phichit could deal with a cute patient. He was a professional, and he had a job to do. He opened the door and called Seung-gil’s name, catching Chris mimicking a blow job out of the corner of his eye. Chris was on a roll today. 

“I’m Phichit,” he began, ignoring Chris, “and I’m going to clean your teeth before Dr. Katsuki comes in to take a look, all right?” 

Seung-gil stood and followed without a word, his expression just as blank as when he had signed the forms. They walked back to the room and Seung-gil sat down in the exam chair, still silent. 

Phichit grabbed a fresh mask and his safety glasses, then tried again. “So, Seung-gil, what do you do?” 

“Accounting,” said Seung-gil. 

_ Success! _ he thought, securing his mask. “Cool! I never was very good at math myself.” 

Phichit put on clean gloves and picked up a dental bib for Seung-gil. There weren’t any notes in his file about this being his first visit in a decade or anything unique like that, but lots of people got nervous at the dentist’s office. Maybe he was just a quiet person. Phichit had yet to meet a patient he couldn’t charm, but there was a first for everything.

“Squeezing in a visit before tax season?” Phichit went on. Nothing. Onward, then. “I’ll get some X-rays first.” Phichit put the lead apron on him and talked him through the process. Seung-gil obeyed silently, and the pictures looked good.  _ Really _ good, actually. “I’m not the dentist, but I don’t see any cavities. You must floss!”

Seung-gil just scratched his nose. 

Phichit sat down in his chair, lowered the exam chair into position, and let out a sigh he hoped was inaudible. “Well, I’m going to do your cleaning now,” he said. “Just let me know if something hurts or if you need to spit, okay?”

At least this got a nod out of him. “Great. Now, open your mouth nice and wide, please.” Phichit adjusted the light, swung his tools over, and looked down. Seung-gil blinked up at him, and  _whoa_ —his eyes were a gorgeous shade of charcoal gray up close. Phichit had tried to make eye contact before, to establish a little rapport if not trust, but now Seung-gil was staring back. 

_Be professional_ , he reminded himself. Seung-gil was just another patient, and maybe he was nervous, because he still had his mouth closed. “Can’t clean your teeth if you don’t open up!” 

Seung-gil did, and Phichit shot upright, almost tipping his rolling chair. 

“Wow! I knew your X-rays were good, but your teeth are incredible!” he exclaimed. This got a reaction, albeit a subtle one—an eyebrow twitch. “Seriously, they are so straight and clean. Did you have braces growing up? Dear Lord, have you ever even had a filling?”

Seung-gil shook his head. 

Phichit whistled. “And I thought  _ Viktor _ had good teeth.”

He assumed the miniscule amount of plaque on Seung-gil’s teeth would be the strangest thing about the appointment. He was wrong. Normally, patients closed their eyes or looked at the ceiling during cleanings, but Seung-gil was looking at him while he worked. Right at his eyes. It wasn’t unpleasant but it was a little unnerving.

_Conversation_ , thought Phichit, glancing at Seung-gil’s eyes, then back at his mouth. _That will make this less awkward._ “You must not eat a lot of candy or drink much soda, huh? What’s your favorite food?” 

Nothing.

Phichit rinsed his mouth. “You can sit up and spit now," he said, hoping Seung-gil hadn't noticed the way his voice had cracked on the word  _spit_. 

Seung-gil did, and then laid back down. He resumed staring while Phichit brushed his teeth. If Phichit thought too hard about it, he was going to start sweating, so he focused on Seung-gil’s perfectly-formed incisors. “They could put your teeth in a textbook, I swear. Or toothpaste ads! And you don’t even have veneers. You’re all natural!”

But no matter how many jokes he slung, they all fell flat. Seung-gil spit again, and the cleaning marched on.

“Maybe you go to the dentist for fun?” Phichit suggested. Seung-gil wrinkled his brows, a clear _no_. Phichit had to force himself to focus on Seung-gil’s mouth again. He would have to quit in disgrace if he cut a patient because he was distracted by a pair of pretty eyes. “What are your hobbies, then?” 

Seung-gil said nothing. Yes, Phichit was flossing his teeth at the moment, but most of his patients made a cursory attempt to answer his questions when he had his hands in their mouths, and yes, Phichit  _ did _ think it was funny. Seung-gil just wouldn’t play along.

“I like taking pictures. Just with my phone, nothing fancy. And I like playing with my hamsters.” The dog on Seung-gil’s T-shirt popped into his mind and Phichit asked, “Do you have any pets? Maybe a dog?”

Nothing. Phichit rinsed Seung-gil’s mouth one more time and let him spit. 

Well, at least Phichit had gotten through the appointment without compromising his ethics. He took off his gloves and mask and started updating Seung-gil’s file. “You probably knew this, but your teeth are amazing. Dr. Katsuki will be in soon to take a look.”

He said nothing when Phichit left the room, but at this point, Phichit wasn’t expecting anything. He retreated into the hall, past the other treatment room where Viktor’s drill was still whirring, and poked his head into Yuuri’s office. “Seung-gil’s ready for you in room two.” 

“Thanks, I’ll be right there,” said Yuuri. 

Phichit nodded and ducked into the bathroom to check the mirror. Was there something on his face? Was that why Seung-gil had just stared at him _the whole time_? But he looked normal. Good, even. But he doubted his good looks were the reason for Seung-gil’s fixation.

He met Yuuri outside the room, suddenly curious to see what Yuuri made of Seung-gil’s teeth.

“Hi, Seung-gil, I’m Dr. Katsuki.” To Phichit’s surprise, Seung-gil shook Yuuri’s hand right away. Yuuri smiled at him. “So, let’s take a look at those X-rays.”

“Here you go.” Phichit pulled them up for Yuuri.

“Wow!” said Yuuri. “You’ve got really healthy teeth!”

“Thanks.” It wasn’t an enthusiastic response, but it was a response. Was Seung-gil dismissing Phichit because he was a dental hygienist and not a dentist? 

Yuuri checked Seung-gil’s teeth and nodded, impressed. “Everything looks good! Keep doing what you’re doing. Have a great day.”

“You, too,” said Seung-gil. Phichit narrowed his eyes. Seung-gil was just an elitist. Maybe he had been trying to intimidate Phichit or assert his dominance. 

Phichit fetched his stash of toothbrushes. “Pick a color,” he muttered. Seung-gil took a blue toothbrush and Phichit put the rest away, walking into the hall without waiting to see if Seung-gil would follow. They reached the reception desk and Phichit turned back to him. Seung-gil was  _ still _ staring, and Phichit was just glad this appointment was almost over. “Chris will get you set up for your next appointment.”

With any luck, Seung-gil would ask for another hygienist. It was taking all of his restraint to be polite, but Yuri wouldn’t have any qualms about putting Seung-gil in his place.

Chris smiled, looking from Phichit to Seung-gil. “Everything all right with your appointment?” 

“No,” said Seung-gil. Phichit almost coughed. 

“Oh?” Chris raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry to hear that. What’s wrong? We’ll do everything we can to make it right.”

Seung-gil shook his head. “I’m going to find another dentist.”

Chris and Phichit were both too stunned to speak. Eyes wide, they watched as Seung-gil paid his co-pay and left.

“What the hell did you  _ do _ to him?!” Chris demanded. Phichit shook his head frantically. 

“I didn’t do anything! I mean, I complimented his teeth a little, but I didn’t hit on him or anything,” Phichit insisted. “I think he wanted more time with the dentist, but he didn’t have to be a dick about it. What else was Yuuri gonna do? His teeth were flawless.”

“You complimented his teeth?” Chris echoed, as if that was his only takeaway. “Were you creepy about it?”

Phichit threw up his arms. “You should have seen them! They were even prettier than Viktor’s teeth!” 

“What?” Viktor emerged from the treatment room, his gloves snapping as he pulled them off. Phichit hadn’t even noticed that the drilling had stopped. “Prettier than my teeth? Impossible.”

Yuuri popped out of his office, too. “What’s with all the yelling?” 

“Yuuri!” Viktor grabbed his fiance by the shoulders and stuck out his lower lip. “Phichit says your last patient has better teeth than me! Is it true?”

Yuuri looked up at the ceiling and Viktor gasped. “Um, well, as you know, some gum recession is natural with age…” Yuuri’s voice trailed off when he realized his mistake.

Viktor snapped his shut and turned away, crossing his arms over his chest. “Well, I’m sorry my gums aren’t  _ virile _ enough for you.” He blinked like he was holding back tears and Yuuri wrapped his arms around his fiance.

“Viktor, you know I love your gums,” Yuuri assured him, gently patting his back. “I love everything about you.”

“Besides, Phichit’s the one who wants Seung-gil to bite him,” Chris put in. 

Yuri stomped out into the reception area. “Shove it before Ms. Baranovskaya hears you!” He glared at each of them in turn, then said, “You’re all a bunch of fucking weirdos.”

“Language, Yura,” Lilia chided, appearing behind him. Even swollen from the procedure, her elocution was perfect. “Did you forget everything I taught you in grammar class?” 

Phichit snorted. Lilia shot him a condescending look and Phichit covered his mouth. He’d take Seung-gil over Lilia any day, but Seung-gil was never coming back. 

_ Oh, god, what if he trashes us on Yelp?  _ Phichit thought in horror. Visions of scathing rants— _the hygienist named PHICHIT CHULANONT was weirdly obsessed with my teeth, and his eyes aren’t as nice as mine—_ tormented him through the rest of the work day.

He was still worrying after work, and he  _ never  _ took work home with him. As Yuuri’s Best Man, he had plenty left to do, like firming up all the arrangements for the bachelor parties.

“It’s not even true,” he muttered to himself. “My eyes are just as nice. If not nicer.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Chris said from across their booth at the bar. “But it doesn’t answer my question. Did Georgi RSVP for both parties or not?”

“Yes.” But Phichit realized he actually hadn’t checked. “Hold on.” 

Chris snatched his phone out of his hands the second he pulled it out, and the screen Phichit left it on would not look good.

“Phichit Chulanont!” Chris pretended to be shocked. “Cyber-stalking a patient?”

“ _Former_ patient,” Phichit corrected him. “And it’s a public Instagram. I just wanted to see if he had an online presence.”

He didn’t. Not much, at least. His Instagram hadn’t been updated in month and if he frequented review sites, he used an alias. 

“Shame on you,” Chris tutted, “for not telling me how into him you were.”

Phichit wrinkled his nose. “I am  _ not _ into him! I can deal with being talked down to, but he thought I was so far beneath him, he wouldn’t even talk to me at all.”

“You know, some people pay big money for that sort of thing,” Chris said. 

“For the last time, that’s fine, but I am not into that.” Phichit let out a groan at Chris’s skeptical glance. He downed the rest of his beer and slammed the glass down a little harder than he intended. “Let’s just finish up.”

By the next morning, Phichit was over it. It was Thursday and Yuuri and Yuri were off on Thursdays, so it was always a light day.

“All right, Isabella, you’re all done for today,” he said. “Chris will get you scheduled for that filling, but remember that Dr. Nikiforov and Dr. Katsuki are both going to be out for two weeks starting on the 12th for their honeymoon.”

Isabella smiled. “How could I forget? They’re so cute together.”

“Aren’t they?” Phichit grinned back at her and leaned over Chris’s desk. “We've got the new Katsuki-Nikiforov office sign ready to go.”

Chris made the appointment and handed her a reminder slip, along with a business card. “If you have any dental emergencies while the doctors are on their honeymoon, give Dr. Leroy a call. He’ll take care of you.”

“Oh! JJ Dental!” Isabella smiled and sang the jingle, “ _Dr. JJ wants to see you smile...JJ Style_!” 

“That’s how it goes,” Phichit muttered under his breath. He didn’t mind JJ, but that jingle could get stuck in his head for days. Viktor and Yuuri didn’t need obnoxious commercials to bring in patients. They had word of mouth and patient loyalty, not to mention those billboards that had people constantly calling and asking if the doctors were single.  _ Not for much longer. _

“Hey, Phichit, I think there’s someone here to see you.” Chris’s voice startled him. Phichit followed his eyes through the window to the waiting room.

It was Seung-gil Lee, this time in a dinosaur T-shirt that had to be from a museum gift shop. He looked just as impassive as yesterday. 

Phichit pursed his lips, all of yesterday’s frustrations piling up on his shoulders. Mustering what was left of his retail-honed charm, he went into the waiting room with a smile on his face. 

“Was there a problem with your checkup yesterday?” Phichit asked.

Seung-gil’s chest rose and fell, the only evidence of a deep breath through his nose. 

“Yes, it’s almost tax season and I’m going to be busy. I floss every day. I hate sweets and my favorite food is grilled meat. I like to bike and swim. I have a dog. Will you get dinner with me?”

Seung-gil’s speech left Phichit speechless.

He had misread the situation entirely.

When Phichit still didn’t reply, Seung-gil added, “I picked a different dentist so it wouldn’t be weird.”

It was way past weird. 

And Phichit was totally into it. 

“I don’t go to the dentist for fun,” Seung-gil continued. 

He was starting to squirm and Phichit was curious to see how much more Seung-gil would say. Maybe it was payback for yesterday’s silence—or maybe Phichit just hadn’t recovered from the shock.

Seung-gil tightened his lips, then said, “You have pretty eyes.” 

The compliment warmed Phichit’s heart. How could he have assumed the worst of this sweet man?

“I can leave,” Seung-gil said. 

That snapped Phichit into action, and he stepped forward. Seung-gil’s eyebrows went up, and Phichit broke into a smile. Yesterday seemed a whole lot more amusing now, like a story they might tell one day. 

But he was getting ahead of himself.

“I would love to get dinner with you, Seung-gil.” 

Seung-gil smiled back. Even though he wasn’t showing his teeth, it was the best smile Phichit had ever seen.

*

“So, in conclusion, that’s why it’s both ethically sound and not at all weird that I am bringing a  _ former  _ patient to your wedding!”

“That was a very long story, Phichit,” said Viktor. “You could have just told us he switched dentists.”

Yuuri patted Viktor’s arm. “For all the times he’s heard our story, I think we owe him at least one.”

“You’re right.” Viktor smiled at Yuuri, but that smile twisted. “But I want to take a look at his teeth. I bet I can find something you missed.”

Phichit glared at Viktor. “You are  _ not _ looking at my boyfriend’s teeth at your wedding.” 

“Just one peek!” Viktor pleaded. “I bet he grinds his teeth!”

Yuuri shook his head. 

“But the early signs of grinding can be subtle!”

“I think I would have noticed last night,” Phichit said thoughtfully. Yuuri’s eyes went wide, but Viktor was undeterred. 

“Crossbite? Xerostomia? Halitosis?”

“Definitely not,” said Phichit. 

Viktor sighed, throwing out one last try. “Old amalgam fillings that need to be replaced?” 

“No cavities,” Yuuri told him. Viktor gasped, and Yuuri finished with, “Ever.”

Viktor’s face contorted and he let out a pained moan. “I can’t compete with that, Yuuri!”

“Luckily, you don’t have to.” Yuuri pulled Viktor closer and kissed his cheek, lowering his voice to add, “Because I’m madly in love with you.”

“Oh, Yuuri!” 

And then they were making out on the couch. Phichit had to dive out of the way when Viktor tugged Yuuri down on top of him. 

“Well, I’ll just be going, then,” Phichit announced. He thought they might have tossed him a wave but they were just taking their shirts off.  _ Yeah, that’s about right, _ Phichit thought with a snort. He headed for the door. 

“Wait!” Viktor cried out. 

Phichit turned around, completely unphased by the sight of his half-naked bosses. Viktor was half-sitting, still partly underneath Yuuri.

“He didn’t go to JJ, did he? If he went to JJ, he’s not allowed to come to the wedding.”

“Viktor,” Yuuri scolded. “We’re referring all of our patients to JJ while we’re gone.”

“Extenuating circumstances, Yuuri! And Phichit’s boyfriend is already on thin ice with those teeth of his.”

Phichit shook his head. “Look at it this way, Viktor: thanks to those perfect teeth, JJ’s not going to make any money off of him.”

“Oh.” Viktor blinked, then grinned in triumph. “ _King of Dentistry_ , my ass! JJ can take that infuriating jingle and shove it!” 

With that, he devoted himself to Yuuri’s neck, and Phichit made himself scarce. 

*

Yuuri and Viktor’s wedding was perfect. Phichit kept his phone in his pocket during the ceremony, but the reception was a 2,123 photo affair. It wasn’t his fault that the grooms spent the entire night being adorable. 

Selfishly, his favorite photo of the night didn’t include either groom. It wasn’t even one he had taken himself. Chris had snuck it from across the table—Seung-gil and Phichit, making eyes at each other. “Ocular sex,” Chris had called it. 

To return the favor, Phichit had captured the moment when Masumi told Chris he was starting immunotherapy for his cat allergy.

Both pictures ended up on prominent display at the dental practice of the Doctors Katsuki-Nikiforov, though neither was as prominent as the giant framed wedding photo of the doctors themselves.

**Author's Note:**

> This AU was conceived during my last dental cleaning, in which I did NOT stare at my sweet hygienist during the checkup, I just imagined what would happen if someone did. Someone being Seung-gil. 
> 
> Major thanks to [Songbirdsara](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Songbirdsara/pseuds/Songbirdsara) for the beta and title, and for pointing out all the places the first draft of this story tried to go from zero to 100 instead of the innocent fluff it was intended to be.
> 
> Come say hello on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/PeppiestBismilk)!


End file.
